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Thursday, March 16, 2006

Bad day (Wednesday)...

...it started off crap, and I just knew that something majorly bad was going to happen today. Y'know, one of those days when nothing seems to go right, and just one bad thing after another happens? Well, today was it :o(

At about 7.30pm my Dad called me to tell me that my Auntie Margie died at 6.30pm...my Nana's sister. They were best friends and it devastated Auntie Margie when Nan died 2 years ago in January. I did so much with Nan and Margie, and she was such a wonderful person...so much like my Nan and me. I loved her so much and it is awful now she has gone too...all of Nan's brothers and sisters are gone now...the end of an era. But I know they will all feel complete now that they can all finally be together...they lost one of their brothers when Nan was 14yrs old, Margie was 12, so it has been a long time since their family has been complete. And Margie lost her grandson Robbie in a horrific car accident here in 1997...she was close with him like Nan and I were and she has never recovered from his death, as she didn't from her husband Bobbie's death in 1975. So it makes me happy to know that they are all there now, finally together in Heaven, having a good old laugh and a "tottie" of port (or two ;P), telling some crazy stories.

But still, I am here greiving for Margie, Nan, Robbie...for all of them...wishing they were still here or that I could see them and talk to them, meet my uncles who I never knew, have those old times back...but I never can, at least not in this mortal life. And try as I might, the grief for Nan never goes away...it just bubbles under the surface until something like this stirs it up again. So I never cope well with death, not that anyone ever does though, and I don't think I ever will. It really rocks me, and this time with Auntie Margie's death, it is even worse...like losing Nan all over again, and grieving for lots of family members instead of one. So I am feeling very upset and miserable and wanna see and hear and cuddle Nan so much right now. But it will pass, for a little while at least. And I WILL BE OKAY...PROMISE!!!!! Just feeling really selfish and sorry for myself right now and wanted to let you all know that I might not be around for a few days. Hence "My Immortal" by Evanescence...feels like I am singing the verses to Nan, and she's singing the chorus to me...very real and raw as this song was out when Nan died. I still love it though :o)

Oh, Nellie's layout is FINISHED...YAY NELLIE!!!!!! Much happier news there!!!!!!! Will share a pic later on when the sun is up ;D

And it's my Daddy's bithday today (16th)...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!! Love you heaps :o) xoxoxoxoxoxo

MWAH everyone, and good luck to Megan for Friday!!!! Thinking of you all who are going through a crappy time at the moment, and sending {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you all!

Chat soon! :o)

6 Comments:

Blogger Peta said...

haha you forgot to tell me you had finished - lucky i checked before turning off :P

LOVE YA BABE!!! {{{HUG}}}

You're post made me cry. Wish again that I could be there to give you a hug- but for now will store it up for the day we can give them in person :)

3:24 AM  
Blogger Karen Ridgeway said...

Awwww, you are a softie pete :o) Thank you so much girl...needed the chat. Yes, big hugs one day for sure ;P

Luv Karen xoxo

3:30 AM  
Blogger Janelle Wind said...

Karen, my thoughts are with you through this very sad time. I wish I could do something to help you feel better, but it is best to go with your feelings and feel sad for a time if you need to. Keep them alive in your memories... x nellie

P.S. I am very excited about my LO too. Can't wait to see it when you are feeling better...

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Donna WIlson said...

I think everyone handles grief differently.. I'd never really lost anyone CLOSE b4 Dad, so didn't really understand. You think you know how you'll feel, but you're so off the mark when it happens.. Just cry..... there's nothing wrong with that, and I know it makes ME feel a little better.. I wish I could talk to Dad just one more time though.. or see just one more of his smiles.. Hugs to you xx

3:24 PM  
Blogger Shazz said...

never never apologise for grieving karen - grief is the universes way of showing just how much you love somebody. obviously the love for your nan was deep.

i am sending you a great big hug my friend. it won't make the hurt go away but i hope it helps you to know that you have friends who care and will allow you to grieve.

take care my dear friend.

xxoo

7:31 PM  
Anonymous Tracy said...

Hey Karen sending you the biggest of (((((HUGGLES))))) Sorry to hear of your Aunts passing. Grief is important to handle in your own way and in your own time, have a good cry sweet it will help. I know what you mean about the hug with your Nan, I want one with my Pop and he passed in 1983.

Happy Birthday to Karen's Daddy hope it is a good one.

Take care my friend you are in my thoughts.

Huggles
Trac x

9:42 PM  

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